"do i look fat in this?"

the book i´m reading currently is about feeling fat and the woman who wrote it thinks, that the feeling "fat" doesn´t exist, because there are always other feelings behind that.
i thought about that today, and it´s insane, ´cause that means, that i´m always feeling empty, sad, worthless, weak, uncontrolled, debased, miserable, insecure, disappointed, fearful, frustrated...or anything like that...and if i look behind that - it´s true...i always feel like that
and this would mean, that anything in my life went totally wrong, because i think nobody feels like that without any reason...even though the reason is not aware
i wish i would know my reasons...but maybe this would change nothing
an the strange thing - again - i have to do some sport, really, my stomach is flabby, but it has to be firm, accurately defined. and i have to clean the flat, i hate that, but it burns calories, so there´s no way out