in this world "logic" means something different

curiously i´m holding my weight, even though i´m eating...
does that mean i´m doing something right? probably.
it´s my first goal weight, or should i say it WAS my first goal weight in times when it started to go down... how beautiful that was... smaller numbers
yesterday i started crying in front of the mirror while i watched my body. it´s kind of scary how distorted i am in my head...
and even if i realize that, it doesn´t help anyhow. i can´t see my body as it is. i´m feeling fat, even though i can feel and see my bones. i´m always afraid to eat too much, even though i have the same weight since months, and this is NOT my set-point, it´s less. maybe that´s why it´s so cold again...